The Stepdaughter Formerly Known As...

My stepdaughter formerly known as Hunter has decided that she prefers to go by "Lexy" which is her middle name. Since the schools around here have two more weeks to go, and camp doesn't start until then, she decided to pass the time with a lemonade stand. We're also hoping it helps us get acquainted with some of the older neighborhood kids. Fortunately our house is the bus stop for our block.

Lexy and I had a good time putting pen to paper to figure out how much it cost to make a pitcher of lemonade (do YOU know how much a cup of sugar costs?) and then she surveyed a few adults (me and Dad) to see what price the market would bear.

So at 25 cents a cup, you can have some nice cool lemonade. Today was her grand opening and she's already made about $4.00. Xavier drank up some of the profits via his sippy cup but that's apparently the price of good help these days.

How I Spent My Spring Vacation

What a fantastic treat it was to be able to take off a week and half to go to North Carolina with my family. Xavier is quite the little car traveller. Jack needs a little more time to adjust. Poor thing just needs a break every hour or so. As a result we spent two more days in transit than originally planned. We even briefly considered turning around and going back to Texas but thankfully decided to sleep on that decision. We turned the corner that night.

I jokingly called this the Meet the (Grand)Parents tour as it was the first opportunity for Jack to meet my Dad and stepmom (Papa & MiMi) and my in-law's (Grandma & Grandpa). Of course the boys were just spoiled silly with gifts, hugs and kisses. Xavier warmed up to his Papa who fed him full of eggs, biscuits and toast for breakfast. Grandma's gift of a cement truck is still being slept with by Xavier.

My folks generously let us use their cottage in Highlands as our "home base." for the trip. The views of the mountain range in the morning and sunsets in the evening were breathtaking. We had a great hike on Whiteside Mountain. The next day we took it a little easier and did the walking trail at the Highland's nature center. I enjoyed all the labelling they have on the plants and trees. It makes me want to prepare a little more for our next trip so Xavier can learn some new words. The last day in the mountains we actually drove just across the border to SC where we found an incredible trail. It is about 72 miles long and runs from Georgia to South Carolina. Tim and I think it would make a great backpacking route once the boys are a bit older.

The biggest revelation of the this trip is that if we are going to drive to North Carolina, we need to spend much, much more time there. Next year we hope to spend a few weeks there.

Look Who's Two!

Hard to believe that I've been at this mothering thing for two years now today. Seems like yesterday that they lifted this beautiful little boy over the drape in the OR. His hands were splayed, his eyes were wide open, and his little mouth was shaped in a perfect "O." It was as if he was saying, "Now this is something COMPLETELY different!" From that first face-to-face moment, my life changed forever. I am so very blessed to have such a dear little one.

We celebrated with a small family birthday party after Dad got home from work and Xavier woke up from his nap. We had the birthday cake that Xavier and I made that morning (the kid loves to bake so I figured there was no hard and fast rule that birthday cakes HAD to be surprises). Then we opened presents.

Light up Spiderman shoes:

A kiddie laptop:

A garbage truck.

He also got a homemade felt pizza kit which I made for him by hand and a set of clay sculpting tools. But his absolute favorite part of today (if you haven't already guessed from the photos) were the two balloons I ran out and got him at the last minute. He held onto those balloons pretty much for the rest of the day. We did leave them at home when we took Xavier to the big park to play for an hour or so on the playground, and I finagled them out of his hands for bathtime but other than that, he wouldn't let them go. Simple pleasures.

Here's a video of him playing with the truck:

Baby Laughs

More baby laughing video. Jack's laugh is infectious!

A is for...

...apples, alligator, art and apple pie. Last week we focused on things beginning with the letter "A." I think it is probably too early for Xavier to really recognize and understand letters but by focusing on different letters it helps give a little focus and structure to our tot school activities.

Xavier loved cutting up apples for the pie and has since used the chopper for pears too. Because it doesn't really have sharp edges, it is a great montessori-styled way to get him involved in cooking.

Xavier is often spontaneously leaving little art installations around the house. Here's his little car with styrofoam cups for beams of light. I know this because when I asked him what it was he pointed to each cup and said, "Light, light, light, light." We also did some cut and paste projects of an alligator and an apple. Xavier is just starting to get the hang of the safety scissors (or snips-nips as he calls them!) but still doesn't quite get the concept of glue.

Do You Reject Satan?

I'm a little late on posting this but Jack was baptised last Sunday. It was a very special day for all of us. In attendance were Jack's godparents and their three young children, Xavier's godparents, and Brooke, the mom of Xavier's BFF, Ethan. Unlike his big brother, Jack didn't cry at all and even seemed to enjoy having water poured over his little noggin.



If you have never been to a Catholic baptism (or don't happen to remember your own) there are a few things to remember:

• Your parents and godparents must formally reject Satan and all his works in your name
• You are annointed with special oils (chrism) that makes you smell like a head shop
• One of the places you are annointed is on your chest so more than likely you will need to partially disrobe from your fancy schmancy baptismal clothes
• Someone will make you wear a hat made out of a hankerchief
• You get souveniers including a baptismal certificate, a baptismal candle, a little garment, and a bottle of your baptismal water
• You are encouraged to celebrate your baptismal day as much if not more heartily than your birthday

Deacon Gordon, Tim, Jack, me, and Jack's godparents, Laurie and Pete.

Xavier with his godparents.

Sweet, sweet boys

Before I had kids of my own, I had no idea what I would do with sons. Being one of many sisters I only knew about girls. My, oh my is raising sons a hoot. Who knew they could be so sweet?

This is the sweet smiling face that greets my bleary-eyed one each morning.

This is a "flower" that Xavier picked for me from the back yard. Of course it immediately went on display in a crystal vase.

A Mother's Rule of Live: Partner

Continuing on (slowly but surely) with Holly Pierlot's book, the next "P" in her five-part plan to developing a rule is to focus on partner. I found this chapter to be the most inspirational and helpful to me in a practical sense.

Perhaps one of the most valuable parts is her exploration of submission vs. equality in a Christian marriage. I know several very devout Christian women who adhere to some form of submissiveness in their marriage in an effort to fufill what they see as God's will. They cite Ephesians and Genesis. They use analogies like CEO and CFO. They talk about the practicalities of the husband's choice being the "tie-breaker" when they can't come to an agreement.

Holly herself had a long period of her marriage where she followed this concept. She would give her opinion to her husband and then leave the decision making up to him. Of course you can only imagine how much resentment this approach can cause over time. Then when she searched the catechism and papal encyclicals for the specifically Catholic approach to submission to marriage she was surprised to discover that there was no such provision.

On the contrary, again and again it is stressed that without equality there can be no real communion in marriage but also that both partners are called to the self-sacrifice and submission to vocation that is required by love.

In other words, the opposite of a shrewish wife isn't a submissive one...it is a partner willing to improve herself and her call to love as much if not more than she is desirous to change the thoughts and actions of her husband.

While I've never really followed the concept of a submissive wife, I do have a habit of throwing up my hands in certain situations and saying (if only in my head), okay, YOU deal with it. What a wonderful alternative to that. We are called to work together, with egos in check, to progress to our mutual goals.

The other nugget that I loved was this one:
I realized that I have no right to try to control my husband, because it wasn't reasonable to dictate to a grown man how he should live his life, what TV shows he could and could not watch, or what he was allowed to think or feel.

I added my own list to hers. I have no right to dictate how:

• The dishwasher should be loaded
• What he should eat for a healthy diet
• How he should handle his relationships with other people

Finally, she gets to how to incorporate these concepts into one's rule. Basically, make sure to set aside time to nurture these virtues in marriage. For me that means giving my husband first priority once the boys are asleep at night. We've discovered that there are very few television shows that we like equally so while he will tolerate an episode of Medium and I will watch a basketball game with him, it helps to also have a few things that we can both do together that doesn't always feel like submission to the other.

For us, reading aloud has been a big hit. I usually do most of the reading and we often stop to discuss the story, the characters and how it relates to our lives. Sometimes we talk about the technique of the author or how easy or difficult it is to read the sentence structure while sight reading. We really enjoyed A River Runs Through It but the author's winding style kept me on my read-aloud toes. We had a good laugh about how the author portrays the conflict and tension in his marriage that is far outweighed by mutual love. Right now we are working our way through a few Sherlock Holmes stories. We are also in search of some board games that will interest us both.

In addition to being entertaining, I find these activities to be very beneficial to making me a more loving and giving wife and make me happier in my marriage. I think there is some wisdom in Holly Pierlot's focus on Prayer and Person prior to addressing Partner. If I am keeping up with my relationship with God and making sure my basic personal needs are met, I'm much more likely to choose the loving action in my marriage over the selfish one.

Lucy Ricardo Goes Green

Note to self: do not, I repeat, do NOT turn your compost pile on a windy day. Especially if you have fire ants in one corner. And shredded newspaper on the top. Good news is that I was a bit of comic relief for the workers on my neighbors roof. Better news is that my pile is composting well. Best news is that I'm now a little more motivated to keep composting.

Photos!

Okay this one is totally posed. Jack is still too young to do this on his own BUT he does prefer tummy time while on his boppy pillow. He's working hard each day to be able to do a baby style push up but he's not quite there yet.

Hunter and Xavier enjoying Xavier's favorite television show: Oswald. The lead character in the cartoon is voiced by Fred Savage of Wonder Years and Henry the penguin is done by the same actor who played Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley.

Xavier colors a picture of Corduroy, his favorite literary character.

Xavier will make a great daddy one day with his enthusiasm for changing diapers...even if it is only on a plush green frog.

Room Changes

This week is spring break for my husband and we've been spending the time changing rooms around, making repairs, and culling stuff to donate to Goodwill. Xavier and Jack now share a room in theory--Jack really still sleeps in our room. We set up the second crib for Jack, converted Xavier's crib to a daybed, and put the majority of the toys in the larger of the two kids rooms. We also got a waterstain on the ceiling repaired by professionals, no small task given the high demand for qualified, bonded contractors around here.

The old nursery is now Hunter's room which also serves as a guest room when she isn't here. She arrives for her spring break this weekend. Tim and I have given her a budget to deorate and personalize her room. At this point, all I know for sure is that lime green paint will be involved! She loves HGTV and sometimes toys with the idea of becoming an interior designer so she is looking forward to her first project.

Together Tim and I built shelves in what will now be my craft/office/education closet. They still need to be painted and I need to do a bit more organizing but I wanted to get things out of Hunter's room ASAP so she has a clean slate to work with.

Our bedroom now has the old bookshelf which Tim is using as a bedside table as well. I stashed the rocker in the corner and have a makeshift computer nook/place to rock the baby. It's a little crowded in here right now but that will change in a few months when Jack moves into the boys' room and we can take down the pack-n-play.


The only things left to do after Hunter's visit and room redo is replace the trim around the back door and replace the carpet in the living room.

Cousins!

Some photos and a video of the boys with their cousin Matthew, MaMere, and Momo~

Tot School -- #2

Xavier, 21 months

I noticed this week that Xavier was eager to use his fork more and more at mealtime but was having difficulty. As his 3-year-old cousin noticed during a visit, "Xavier eats silly!" So we tried doing Montessori-styled spooning for the first time to help build his manual dexterity.

I was curious if he would be confused about using a spoon to play with non-food items. I set two bowls in front of him: one filled with popcorn kernels and the other empty. I demonstrated spooning. Then he took the spoon and started doing it himself with great concentration. This lasted about 20 minutes!

We also made and decorated Valentine's cookies with his little buddy, Ethan. Xavier was very interested in making the dough and cutting out the shapes while Ethan was more involved with the decoration. Both did a lot of eating!

Admittedly, the moms did most of the final work but I think the boys really enjoyed the process.

Farewell to Kitty

Yesterday we decided to euthenize our 20-year old cat, Edie. These last few weeks of her life, she's been living in our master suite. She was feeble and blind in one eye so having food, bed and litter closer together in a toddler-free space was a comfort to her. She was not a "sweet" cat like Gus. In her youger years she was proud and firey. She would demand to be petted and then nip or swat you if you didn't pet her properly or pet for too long or simply started to annoy her. Despite her temper, she never EVER was aggressive to kids. In that respect she was a feline Ghandi. She would tolerate the most rough handling or being poked in the eye while Xavier said "eyes, eyes!" with glee. As the photos from about 6 weeks ago show, she was even willing to let Xavier pretend that she was her "baby" and feed her from his sippy cup.

But despite our best attempts to accomodate Edie's ailing health, she continued to decline until she was no longer able to walk or clean herself. We will miss our sassy little cat.

A Mother's Rule of Live: Person

I mentioned last month how I'm working my way through Holly Pierlot's recommendations for creating a personal rule as outlined in her book A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul. I've since settled into a pretty regular prayer routine. I say a quick prayer upon waking, either the Angelus or a rosary at noon, a rosary (if not done earlier) or a bible reading during Jack's nighttime nursing routine, an examination of conscience right before sleeping, and a quick mediation here and there duing, um, bathroom time. I'm certainly not perfect but I have noticed that it gets easier and easier to adhere to the routine each day I do it.

The next "P" in her rule development is "person" or taking care of one's own physical, psychological and spiritual need for refreshment...mostly through the use of personal time. I admit that this is absolutely the most difficult one for me to do. Even when I do carve out time for just myself, I'm apt to reliquish it should anything come up with my family. In her book, Holly writes about taking a "mother's Sabbath" every other Saturday. She spends the day going to museums, visiting friends, etc. while her husband takes care of their home and kids. There's absolutely no way that I'd feel comfortable doing that. I don't know why since I do recognize the need for personal time. I don't begrudge my husband his 1-hour gym trip most days of the week for instance.

I'm starting by taking very small baby steps towards this. Xavier still naps 1-3 hours each day now. I actively concentrate on spending at least one hour of that time doing something that is refreshing for me. No tasks, no cleaning, no drawing up shopping lists. The hard thing is that I actually enjoy doing homemaking types of activities and ticking things off my "to-do" list but they do not refresh me. I'm also incorporating things that refresh me in our daily activities. The best example of this is the 1/2 hour Xavier and I spend each day gardening in the back yard now. It is frustrating at times to have him dig up a bulb I just planted or step on the bed I just tilled, but I figure that once we both get the hang of it, this will be a nice activity we can share.

The other aspect of my "person" section of my rule is getting adequate sleep. I'm in bed by 10 p.m. sharp now. If I wake up in the night, I try to avoid TV or internet as that just ends up being too stimulating.

Tot School

Xavier, 21 months

Each day I try to devote a little time to making sure Xavier has a rich and diverse learning environment here at home. While I know at this age he is learning all the time (and his imaginative play surely indicates that he is watching us closely) I think that a little focus now and then is in keeping with the best of Charlotte Mason and Montessori teaching philosophies that I admire. The Tot School link above is one of the websites that I find particularly helpful in generating ideas.

This week we did a lot of reading. In the book basket for the week are:

Corduroy

My Big Green Pocketbook

The Baby Sister

My Big Boy Potty

Pop Worhol's Top

Xavier learned how to plant seeds and water them. We talked about how seedlings will poke up through the dirt but I'm not sure if he will truely understand until they show themselves in a few days.

For arts and crafts, we made a lifesized drawing of Xavier. I laid out some postal wrapping paper and traced his body. He didn't want to color at first so I just asked where certain body parts should go (nose, eyes, fingers) and filled them in where he pointed. Later he added some scribbles of his own. Then we used masking tape (the boy LOVES tape) to put the drawing on his bedroom door. I'm not sure if it is related to this project or not, but this was the first week that I recall Xavier saying his own name. The power of the self-portrait to provide self awareness I suppose!

Social Smiles and Outdoor Exploration

Here's some more photos for the grandmas and all the other folks who've been champing at the bit!

A Season to Plan

I was planning my backyard garden the other day when I came across this article about the prospective rise of vegetable prices due to weather and economic conditions in California. Since lettuce was already on my growing list, I felt like I was at least a little ahead of the curve on this one.


While leafing through the pretty seed catalogues that I ordered, I was tempted to go hog wild with planting large and bizarre crops and turn my entire back yard into something like this urban homestead. When it comes to gardening though I think slow and steady is the best approach for me.

So I've selected a few peppers, tomatoes and okra seeds to add to my stored seeds of beans, squash, lettuce, spinach and collards. I've also got quite an extensive herb list including chammomile for tea! I've never grown tomatoes or peppers from seed before (both are notoriously difficult for a beginner) but I figure even if I fail and need to buy seedlings from the nursury in a few months, I'll only be out a few bucks for the packets of seeds. I found a seed starter tray at the dollar store this week for $4 (which was about $12 less than the catalogue version).

Today Xavier and I planted some collards, lettuce, and spinach in my square foot garden bed. He was fairly stubborn about digging up any and all seeds I planted until I gave him the "magic watering can." Instantly he went from tantruming toddler who didn't understand why mommy was ruining all his fun, to a perfectly wonderful little helper.

So far, the running total for Garden 2009:

Expenses: $4.00

Yeild: zip

Hermit Day

Xavier, Jack and I spent yesterday holed up in our cozy house. It was rather cold outside and I wasn't feeling quite 100%. I strained my lower back earlier in the week by doing a few too many errands with the boys in tow. I also was feeling achy and fatigued.

So I pared down our activities to the bare minimum. If it didn't contribute to the direct feeding, clothing or health of me or my family, it just didn't rank up there with necessary activities. I only picked up Xavier to put him in his crib. He seemed to enjoy the novelty of diaper changes on the floor or being allowed to climb up and down out of his kitchen chair with me spotting him. I realized that he is capable of quite a bit more bit more than I previously realized. He is becoming so independent.

It may have been more than a coincidence that yestday's Saint of the Day was St. Paul the Hermit. I'm not ready

Photos

Okay, and now for what you really want...photos of the boys. Here's one of Jack from Christmas in an outfit sent to him by my mother's office staff. He is now too long to wear this onesie anymore. Time to break into the 3-6 month clothing stash!

This is Jack today as he sleeps in his bouncy seat. I promise that he does smile and open his eyes...just not when I have the camera handy.

And here's big brother Xavier chowing down on lunch. Notice the big boy cup! He's getting fairly handy with a spoon and fork too although you wouldn't know it from this finger food lunch of sandwiches, strawberries and dried fruit bits.

I hope to take some more over the next few days...especially of Jack. Poor kid already is succumbing to second-child-no-photo syndrome. As a second child myself you'd think I'd know better.