Cousins!

Some photos and a video of the boys with their cousin Matthew, MaMere, and Momo~

Tot School -- #2

Xavier, 21 months

I noticed this week that Xavier was eager to use his fork more and more at mealtime but was having difficulty. As his 3-year-old cousin noticed during a visit, "Xavier eats silly!" So we tried doing Montessori-styled spooning for the first time to help build his manual dexterity.

I was curious if he would be confused about using a spoon to play with non-food items. I set two bowls in front of him: one filled with popcorn kernels and the other empty. I demonstrated spooning. Then he took the spoon and started doing it himself with great concentration. This lasted about 20 minutes!

We also made and decorated Valentine's cookies with his little buddy, Ethan. Xavier was very interested in making the dough and cutting out the shapes while Ethan was more involved with the decoration. Both did a lot of eating!

Admittedly, the moms did most of the final work but I think the boys really enjoyed the process.

Farewell to Kitty

Yesterday we decided to euthenize our 20-year old cat, Edie. These last few weeks of her life, she's been living in our master suite. She was feeble and blind in one eye so having food, bed and litter closer together in a toddler-free space was a comfort to her. She was not a "sweet" cat like Gus. In her youger years she was proud and firey. She would demand to be petted and then nip or swat you if you didn't pet her properly or pet for too long or simply started to annoy her. Despite her temper, she never EVER was aggressive to kids. In that respect she was a feline Ghandi. She would tolerate the most rough handling or being poked in the eye while Xavier said "eyes, eyes!" with glee. As the photos from about 6 weeks ago show, she was even willing to let Xavier pretend that she was her "baby" and feed her from his sippy cup.

But despite our best attempts to accomodate Edie's ailing health, she continued to decline until she was no longer able to walk or clean herself. We will miss our sassy little cat.

A Mother's Rule of Live: Person

I mentioned last month how I'm working my way through Holly Pierlot's recommendations for creating a personal rule as outlined in her book A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul. I've since settled into a pretty regular prayer routine. I say a quick prayer upon waking, either the Angelus or a rosary at noon, a rosary (if not done earlier) or a bible reading during Jack's nighttime nursing routine, an examination of conscience right before sleeping, and a quick mediation here and there duing, um, bathroom time. I'm certainly not perfect but I have noticed that it gets easier and easier to adhere to the routine each day I do it.

The next "P" in her rule development is "person" or taking care of one's own physical, psychological and spiritual need for refreshment...mostly through the use of personal time. I admit that this is absolutely the most difficult one for me to do. Even when I do carve out time for just myself, I'm apt to reliquish it should anything come up with my family. In her book, Holly writes about taking a "mother's Sabbath" every other Saturday. She spends the day going to museums, visiting friends, etc. while her husband takes care of their home and kids. There's absolutely no way that I'd feel comfortable doing that. I don't know why since I do recognize the need for personal time. I don't begrudge my husband his 1-hour gym trip most days of the week for instance.

I'm starting by taking very small baby steps towards this. Xavier still naps 1-3 hours each day now. I actively concentrate on spending at least one hour of that time doing something that is refreshing for me. No tasks, no cleaning, no drawing up shopping lists. The hard thing is that I actually enjoy doing homemaking types of activities and ticking things off my "to-do" list but they do not refresh me. I'm also incorporating things that refresh me in our daily activities. The best example of this is the 1/2 hour Xavier and I spend each day gardening in the back yard now. It is frustrating at times to have him dig up a bulb I just planted or step on the bed I just tilled, but I figure that once we both get the hang of it, this will be a nice activity we can share.

The other aspect of my "person" section of my rule is getting adequate sleep. I'm in bed by 10 p.m. sharp now. If I wake up in the night, I try to avoid TV or internet as that just ends up being too stimulating.

Tot School

Xavier, 21 months

Each day I try to devote a little time to making sure Xavier has a rich and diverse learning environment here at home. While I know at this age he is learning all the time (and his imaginative play surely indicates that he is watching us closely) I think that a little focus now and then is in keeping with the best of Charlotte Mason and Montessori teaching philosophies that I admire. The Tot School link above is one of the websites that I find particularly helpful in generating ideas.

This week we did a lot of reading. In the book basket for the week are:

Corduroy

My Big Green Pocketbook

The Baby Sister

My Big Boy Potty

Pop Worhol's Top

Xavier learned how to plant seeds and water them. We talked about how seedlings will poke up through the dirt but I'm not sure if he will truely understand until they show themselves in a few days.

For arts and crafts, we made a lifesized drawing of Xavier. I laid out some postal wrapping paper and traced his body. He didn't want to color at first so I just asked where certain body parts should go (nose, eyes, fingers) and filled them in where he pointed. Later he added some scribbles of his own. Then we used masking tape (the boy LOVES tape) to put the drawing on his bedroom door. I'm not sure if it is related to this project or not, but this was the first week that I recall Xavier saying his own name. The power of the self-portrait to provide self awareness I suppose!

Social Smiles and Outdoor Exploration

Here's some more photos for the grandmas and all the other folks who've been champing at the bit!

A Season to Plan

I was planning my backyard garden the other day when I came across this article about the prospective rise of vegetable prices due to weather and economic conditions in California. Since lettuce was already on my growing list, I felt like I was at least a little ahead of the curve on this one.


While leafing through the pretty seed catalogues that I ordered, I was tempted to go hog wild with planting large and bizarre crops and turn my entire back yard into something like this urban homestead. When it comes to gardening though I think slow and steady is the best approach for me.

So I've selected a few peppers, tomatoes and okra seeds to add to my stored seeds of beans, squash, lettuce, spinach and collards. I've also got quite an extensive herb list including chammomile for tea! I've never grown tomatoes or peppers from seed before (both are notoriously difficult for a beginner) but I figure even if I fail and need to buy seedlings from the nursury in a few months, I'll only be out a few bucks for the packets of seeds. I found a seed starter tray at the dollar store this week for $4 (which was about $12 less than the catalogue version).

Today Xavier and I planted some collards, lettuce, and spinach in my square foot garden bed. He was fairly stubborn about digging up any and all seeds I planted until I gave him the "magic watering can." Instantly he went from tantruming toddler who didn't understand why mommy was ruining all his fun, to a perfectly wonderful little helper.

So far, the running total for Garden 2009:

Expenses: $4.00

Yeild: zip

Hermit Day

Xavier, Jack and I spent yesterday holed up in our cozy house. It was rather cold outside and I wasn't feeling quite 100%. I strained my lower back earlier in the week by doing a few too many errands with the boys in tow. I also was feeling achy and fatigued.

So I pared down our activities to the bare minimum. If it didn't contribute to the direct feeding, clothing or health of me or my family, it just didn't rank up there with necessary activities. I only picked up Xavier to put him in his crib. He seemed to enjoy the novelty of diaper changes on the floor or being allowed to climb up and down out of his kitchen chair with me spotting him. I realized that he is capable of quite a bit more bit more than I previously realized. He is becoming so independent.

It may have been more than a coincidence that yestday's Saint of the Day was St. Paul the Hermit. I'm not ready

Photos

Okay, and now for what you really want...photos of the boys. Here's one of Jack from Christmas in an outfit sent to him by my mother's office staff. He is now too long to wear this onesie anymore. Time to break into the 3-6 month clothing stash!

This is Jack today as he sleeps in his bouncy seat. I promise that he does smile and open his eyes...just not when I have the camera handy.

And here's big brother Xavier chowing down on lunch. Notice the big boy cup! He's getting fairly handy with a spoon and fork too although you wouldn't know it from this finger food lunch of sandwiches, strawberries and dried fruit bits.

I hope to take some more over the next few days...especially of Jack. Poor kid already is succumbing to second-child-no-photo syndrome. As a second child myself you'd think I'd know better.

Rules over Resolutions: Prayer

This post is a little late for the New Year but I'm still trying to get into the groove with two little boys under the age of two around here. While we were in Houston waiting for Jack to get well, I started reading a book called A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul by Holly Pierlot. She advocates creating a rule (a la St. Benedict) for your life in order to be able to more fully fill your vocation and not get distracted by the clutter of busywork. While it is geared toward Catholic moms, it certainly has a lot of spiritual wisdom that I could have used before I married or even returned to the Catholic faith.

Perhaps the most valuable lesson from this book that I've learned thus far is that I've been trying to do too much. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to do all the things that I'd like to right now and do what I need to do to run a smooth home with two littles. It has also made me realize how much time I fritter away "multitasking" or trying to outline for the umpteenth time what needs to get done for the week. I need to prioritize, commit to what I can, and as for the rest, let it go.

So this year, instead of making a resolution that requires me to add something new to my life (exercise regime, reading Great Books, etc.), I'm going to focus on developing and committing to my own rule. While the fruits of my labor may look the same for each (its amazing how much more I get accomplished with this new approach despite the focus on simplicity) I'm hopeful that it will be more rewarding to adopt and implement a rule.

The author identifies five "P's" to focus on: Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider. I thought it might be fun to keep a running tab on my approach and progress with each. Here goes.

PRAYER
She guides you through the rule creation process by first scheduling time for prayer. This can include spiritual reading, bible study, Mass etc. I've decided to set aside time at morning, midday and afternoon to this. In addition, I'm making a committment to do monthly reconciliation. Now that I'm about midway through the month, I'll admit that I don't make it each and every day, but I am getting better. What is amazing to me though is how much smoother my days go when I stop to take the time to reconnect with God.

This step reminds me quite a bit of the financial wisdom to put money away in savings before spending any of your paycheck. Before long, saving becomes a habit without much thought. This has certainly proven true for me with money so I imagine that the same will be true for prayer.

So each day is ordered around prayer time. I'm still figuring out what to do when since I have several different prayer time activities that I like (rosary, meditation, Ignatius Press bible study, the Angelus, etc.). I'm also trying out a few prayer modes that I've not done before (Devine Office) or that I have discarded in the past (Devine Mercy Chaplet).

We're Home!

I was afraid to jinx it by posting earlier but we were able to bring baby Jack home from Houston this afternoon. He is sleeping well right now--one of the benefits of being in a NICU for 10 days is the ability to sleep through anything! Because Jack's been in a pristine environment for nearly two weeks, the doctors advise us to keep him away from crowds, too many visitors or lots of other kids for another two weeks. I'm looking forward to a few days of just bonding with my baby, toddler and husband.

Xavier comes home tomorrow after having the time of his life with my extended family. I understand from my mother that he has new words and new tricks.

Our cat Edie is beginning to forgive us for being gone for so long. She took one look at Jack and looked up at me as if to say, "You brought home another one?!"

On the Receiving End

It's not everyday that you come home to a nice meal served up to you by a professional basketball player. The Houston Rockets, their dance team, and a bunch of folks from Southwest Airlines were at the RMH last night doing just that. The kids loved it as did most of the parents. It made me tear up a little.

It was relatively more comfortable for me to be on the receiving end of so much help and support from family and friends who have provided everything from childcare to cat sitting to hotel accommodations. I'm slowly getting used to the feelings that receiving good works from complete strangers bring. I'm learning that it is a special grace to be able to allow others to help you in your time of need. There are all sorts of unseen hands lifting us up right now. They deliver pizzas to the RMH in the hospital, bring by little stuffed bears for the sick kids, or even just sing Christmas carols in the lobby for us to enjoy. I still get overwhelmed by it all from time to time but I'm beginning to accept that by this experience as the receiver we'll be better givers in the future.

Two Bits of Good News

Today brings good news on two fronts. First, the blood pressure in Jack's left arm has increased slightly which MAY indicate that a clot in the artery is being diminished by the medicine he is on. Tomorrow's Doppler scan will reveal more on that front. In any case, it is a little more positive than the "stable and waiting" position we've been in for the past few days.

Our second bit of good news is that Tim and I are making preparations to have Xavier join us here...perhaps as early as Sunday afternoon! It has been less than a week since I laid eyes on him but I crave his presence.

Tim and I checked out the Sibling Place here at TCH. It is a daycare-like, supervised play center open for a few hours three days a week. Its mission is to help parents of NICU babies have a nearby place for their other kids while visiting. We met one of the caregivers who was very friendly.

We also found a small outdoor courtyard connected to the RMH here in the hospital.
Between the other kids, the pretty nurses, and the available food here, I am sure Xavier will have a good time hanging out with Mom or Dad while the other one of us is with Jack or busy with other day-to-day stuff like napping. I think we are all looking forward to just sitting down to dinner together again as a family. Simple pleasures indeed.

Photos!

Here's an updated one of Jack. I want to try again to get a better shot but as you can see he's a cutie.

Here's one of Xavier and his cousin Matt playing chef at my sister's house. I know he is having a great time there but we miss him so.

The labs on Jack are trickling in and we hope to have a report from hematology this afternoon. So far nothing that has come back thus far indicates a clotting disorder which we hope continues. Friday Jack has another Doppler scan of his shoulder to assess if the clot has changed at all and to plan a course for further diagnostic testing.

Jack is scheduled for a follow up Doppler of his arm on Friday morning which will give us more information about the clot, if it is growing or shrinking or staying the same, and further exploration.

Oh McDonald's!

After being on the waiting list, Tim and I finally got a room in the larger Ronald McDonald House a mile or so down the road from the hospital. For those of you not familiar with the program (as I wasn't just a few days ago) it is a part communal living/part private quarters place that houses families of kids who are hospitalized or undergoing treatment.

Part of the reason for the wait for us was the fact that the floor we are on was damaged by Hurricane Ike. They just opened it up (replete with fresh paint and new carpet) today and boom, we were in. Our room is quite large with floor to ceiling picture windows. Food or drink is not allowed in the rooms and reservable television rooms are down the hall. It is a cross between a nicely appointed hotel, a dorm room, and a monastery (think simplicity).

Downstairs we have our own cubby in a freezer, a fridge and a pantry in the large kitchen with several cooking bays. Nearly every night a different organization or company sponsors dinner which makes for less work and clean up. There are activities for the kids staying here like a Teddy Bear Clinic where kids can get a health and hygiene lesson by using their stuffed animals as role models.

In addition to a significantly lower cost than a hotel, it is just nice and normalizing to be around other families who are in the same boat. Part of the way they keep costs down here is that each family has a communal chore to do to help keep the common areas clean. Ours is emptying the three small garbage cans each night in the outdoor BBQ pavilion. As it is freezing cold right now, we basically have the EASIEST job you could think of. Peek into three garbage cans to confirm that they are indeed empty and you're done!

Jack continues to do well. We are still waiting on some bloodwork the hematologists ordered to come back to discern if the clot is an anomaly or an indication that he may have some sort of ongoing condition that causes clotting issues for him. The clot still is in place as the nurses aren't able to find a pulse in his elbow or wrist yet. (By the way, this is less gruesome than it sounds since the smaller blood vessels are doing a great job of supplying his arm with blood.) While we are waiting on those results, Dr. Leonard, Jack's neonatologist, has asked the TCH vascular surgeons to consult to start pulling together information from their team and other medical centers around the country on procedural/surgical treatment options and experiences with similar cases. That way if the medications alone don't clear the clot, they will have a plan in place for next steps ready to go.

I will try to take some photos of Jack later today. He is beginning to lose that old-man-mystic-on-the-mountain-top look so common to newborns. He is fattening up and getting that lovely plump baby face. Nursing is going well as is pumping. I take a little delight in knowing that he's had virtually nothing but mother's milk since birth. The milk banking/nursing support at TCH is fantastic...a ideal model for how I wish the rest of society could be for all the other nursing moms out there.

That's all for now! Keep those prayers a'coming! They are certainly keeping us lifted up.

Photos

Jack is doing well today. The medical team was able to get the right dose of Lovinox (blood thinner) for him so I'm hoping this will result in fewer blood draws in the future. He is a real trooper though and hardly cries as long as he is getting a little sugar water on a pacifier while being stuck. We wait now to see if the blood pressure in his left arm increases as a result.

Tim and I checked into an extended stay hotel last night. It is nice to have a little kitchen in our room. The hotel is brand new...maybe too brand new. They are having issues setting up their internet and phone system right now. If it isn't resolved we will moving down the road to another similar hotel.

We went to a wonderful noon Mass today across the way at St. Luke's Hospital. The gospel and homily were about John the Baptist and how he pointed the way toward the refreshment and peace of Christ. I can only think how our experiences right now with our John, an Advent baby, is also leading us into a deeper walk with Jesus as we head toward Christmastime too.


Xavier went back to Louisiana to stay with family there while Tim and I are here in Houston. He had a slumber party with his cousin Matt last night and my sister reports that they are both as cute as can be. Matt is such a good host, making sure Xavier has diapers, stuffed animals to sleep with and even a night light. As you can see by this photo from my brother-in-law, I think Xavier may take after his auntie's musical interests. We can only hope!

Welcome to the World Jack!

It is with great joy that I write to tell you of the birth of our second son, John Andrew McNicholl. We have taken to calling him Jack. He was born on Monday, December 8th weighing 7lbs, 13 oz and measuring 19 inches. He and I spent two comfy days together at the hospital when the medical team at St. Elizabeth's noticed that Jack's blood pressure in his left arm was lower than his right. In every other way he is a healthy baby boy but the condition was a cause for concern. After a series of tests and observations in Beaumont, Jack was transported on Wednesday night to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, a world-class facility, for more in depth investigation.

Jack's medical team here is carefully zeroing in on a firm diagnosis but it appears that he has a clot in the subclavian artery leading to his left arm. According to his neonatologist, this is an extremely rare condition--only four other cases of this sort (not induced by previous medication or medical treatment) have been documented around the world. Fortunately his arm is healthy, pink and fully functioning meaning that his little body has already managed its own "work around" solution for now. I can't stress enough that right now in every other way he is happy, healthy and typical--something that Tim and I are increasingly grateful for the more time we spend here in the TCH environment around babies in much more critical condition than Jack's. Our hope is that he will remain "Mr. Regular" as the nurses call him on the ward and have no other external symptoms while this condition is assessed and corrected.

Tim and I are staying in Houston close to TCH and each day we hope to get closer to a resolution. Until then we will be posting updates about Jack and the rest of the McNicholl clan on my personal blog. For privacy purposes, I may be adding a password access feature to the blog this weekend so you may need to register to access it soon.

We welcome all prayers and well-wishing comments/e-mails, but for now ask that folks not come to visit us at the hospital or call. We are focused on getting our little Jack healthy enough for a return home to Beaumont. You may share our news about Jack with others friends and family whom may not have been on our e-mail list (especially those who are not connected to the internet!). If you do so, please just reiterate our strong desire not to receive phone calls or visits at this time. Again, prayers and e-mails are the best support we can ask for right now.

I hope to have more photos up on the blog by tomorrow!

Advent

After a little scrambling I got our Advent wreath up in our dining room. I was determined to have some sign of Advent around here since I decided not to put garland around our door. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find purple and pink candles this time of year!

The white candle in the center is our Immaculate Conception candle representing Mary. I'm jumping the gun on this one a little since the Feast of the Immaculate Conception isn't until December 8th, but I'm planning to be a little busy that day giving birth. I carved out a small space in the candle and hid a little baby Jesus inside behind some ribbon. On Christmas I'll remove the covering to represent the birth.

Since Tim and I got married, we've made the choice to really focus on Advent up until Christmas Vigil on December 24th. Advent is chock full of special feasts (St. Francis Xavier, St. Nicholas, St. Lucy....) and traditions (Advent songs and prayers, Jesse tree...) and I hate to miss the joy of antipation in the rush to celebrate Christmas. With Christmas shopping, parties, and music starting in early November now in the popular culture, it often feels as if we are swimming up the culture stream on this one.

I know that Xavier is too young to "get" a lot of what we're doing but I feel like it is part of my job as a homemaker and mother to create our own domestic church environment. He and his siblings will be able to say that we've been celebrating saints' feasts and Advent "for as long as they can remember." Besides, the commemorations are as much for me and my husband as they are for the kids.

I've Let Myself Go

Well, it's official. I've got one more week until my scheduled C-section and I've given up any pretense of fashionability. Since about my 30th week of pregnancy my OB has marvelled at my large fundal size. I'm pretty much normal in the legs and arms, and I am told that from the back you can't even tell that I'm pregnant. My profile, however, clearly shows a baby waiting to be born. At 37 weeks, I have the tummy size of a mother of twins in week 42.

All of my maternity pants, including the sweatpants, are too binding now when I sit down. So I've resorted to wearing all skirts. This poses two fashion delimas. First, all three of my skirts are summery, peasant skirts. One of them is even *gasp!* white! Second, because the skirts flow away from me as do the remaining shirts (all fall tones of course) that cover my belly adequately, I look huge. Seriously, it is as if I'm wearing a multi-part, mismatched burqua minus the head scarf.

I held out as long as I could but Sunday I threw caution to the wind and just embraced the hilarity of it all. You should have seen what I wore to mass. No, I haven't taken any photographs and no, I don't plan to either. You'll just have to imagine it!

Shoes!

Xavier's language skills have exploded in the past three weeks. By our last count, he has approximately 35 words now. Admittedly most of his words are only recognizable to my husband and me, but once you familiarize yourself with the Xavier dialect you too can translate. Body parts, common foods and articles of clothing are his most used words. Here's a running list:

Bye-Bye
Night Night
Car Car
Da Da
MaMa
Booms (grapes)
Nanna (banana)
Bapple (apple)
Cheese
Cracker
Juice
Titee (kitty)
Woof Woof (dog)
Bzzzz (bee)
Moon
Bowl
Spoon
Spider
Shoes
Socks
DiDi (diaper)
Botty (potty)
Bight (light)
Bah (bath)
NaNa (nose)
Belbow (elbow)
Beyebu (bellybutton)
Shin (chin)
Tee (teeth)

Here's a short clip of him walking around in two pairs of shoes (mine and his). If you listen closely, you can hear him say the word "shoes" at the very end.