And Then We Were One

It's hard to believe that it was just a year ago today when I got to meet baby Xavier face-to-face for the very first time. He was born via c-section and I still remember his face as they lifted him up and over the drape. His arms were outstretched to the sides and his fingers were splayed wide. His little mouth was in the shape of a tiny 'O' and his eyes were wide open. It was as if he were saying, "Wow! Now this is something different!"

Today we celebrated his birth by inviting his friends from the neighborhood over for a wading pool party. Five families were represented and we had kids ranging in age from 6 months to 5 years. In addition to the pool, they enjoyed blowing bubbles, eating carrot cupcakes, and playing with Xavier's playhouse.

Here are some photos and video...enjoy!

Ethan in the playhouse.

Brook and Kiara.

The babies hung back and watched the "big kids" play in the pool.

Renee and Niona compare swimming costumes.

Ethan says hello to James.
Christopher takes a few steps.
David and Renee enjoy their carrot cupcakes.

The Good Life

A few things have had me thinking about the Good Life these days. First of all, my friend Angie lent me her copy of Crunchy Conservatives, a book written by a fellow alum of LSMSA, conservative journalist, and lover of many things crunchy (organic foods, less suburban sprawl, natural living, etc.) I found myself agreeing with many of the author's personal convictions and came to the conclusion that I didn't really know what a political conservative WAS anymore. I grew up in the Regan era. Conservatism IS Regan, right? No regulation. Low taxes. Trickle-down-economics. Anti-communist. What I'm beginning to realize is that what I thought was conservatism was actually mostly partisan Republican sentiment. So I've started reading up on Russell Kirk and other "fathers of modern conservatism" to get a better understanding more of the theory that informs conservative thought.

With thoughts of what makes up the Good Life swirled in my head, I heard a broadcast on Oprah and Friends XM radio about the Law of Attraction. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, it is a loose synthesis of various philosophies and religious traditions boiled down to a single principle: What happens to you is the direct result of what kind of energy you put out in the universe. On the surface that doesn't seem too controversial -- sort of a New Age karma. But in practice a lot of LoAs (as its followers call themselves) apply this principle to tangible things like building a business clientelle, making more money, having better relationships. That's where it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Its a little too much like the Gospel of Prosperity theology for my tastes. Utilitarianism and spirituality are a touchy combination.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and I can find some inspiration in listening to a radio show about LoA. Specifically, the host mentioned that when we talk about what we want in life, we tend to frame it negatively or in terms of what we don't want. For example we tend to say things like "I don't want to be so stressed out all the time." instead of "I want my life to be carefree and peaceful." So as an exercise the host suggested focusing on one area in your life that is important to you and try to describe what you want in positive terms. Try it, it is a little tricky at first.

So I started thinking about my position as a homemaker. What do I want our home life to be like? I came up with five things:

• Welcoming. I want guests to feel like they belong the minute they walk in the door. I want to be able to offer a cup of tea of plate of sliced fruit to unexpected visitors.
  
• Calm. Some people love boisterous, noisy fun. So do I. Just outside. I've been moving toward creating more calm by limiting television and playing soft music.
  
• Orderly. A simple, clean environment makes me feel at peace. I work hard at making sure there is a place for everything and everything is in its place. It frees up the mind to focus on enjoying life.
  
• Enriching. Thoughtful books, nutritious and delicious food, good conversation. These are the things that truely bring color into life.
  
• Haven. Most of all, I want those in our home to feel as if they can drop their worries and insecurities at the door and find a place to rest in the here and now. If everything is working right, this is our little bit of paradise here on earth.

If I can make progress toward those goals, I will indeed be living the Good Life.

Happy Birthday Pan!

Xavier is lucky enough to have four (count 'em, four) grandmas and two living great grandmas. There's MaMere, MoMo, MiMi, Grandmother, Granny McBurney, and MaMa. In addition to that, Xavier has a very special lady in his life: Pan! Happy Birthday Pan! We love you!

Communication!

Last night we had our very first spontaneous clapping...or signing for more. Or both. It was brought on by the joys of cantaloupe for dessert. As Tim said, I thinks few more synapses just got connected. He seemed to be thrilled that if he signed more, he got more melon. The squeals and heavy breathing were adorable. May he always be so easy to please!

Is there anything sweeter?

Is there anything sweeter than sloppy, open-mouthed baby kisses? Lately Xavier will kiss his lovey or a stuffed animal when I suggest it but balks when I request kisses for myself. My theory was that since we spend almost every waking moment together, Mom-kisses got old quickly.

Well, Saturday afternoon and evening I was away from home and the babe while I participated in our Texas County Caucus (72% for Obama by the way). Xavier and Tim had some quality father and son time while I got to know some of my neighbors much better over the course of seven hours of mostly sitting and waiting.

The reward the next morning was priceless. Tim usually brings Xavier into bed with us in the morning so we can all get a few more minutes of sleep. This Sunday though, Xavier was so excited to see me that he kept kissing my cheeks until I woke up. Sloppy and adorable all at the same time.

Oh, and yesterday, he gave me a zerbert on my shoulder and we both giggled and giggled until he did it again.

Last Day of Lent and Easter

Xavier and I took a quick trip to Lafayette last Wednesday to visit with his two great grandmothers and have an extended play date with cousin Matthew. Granny McBurney gave him a chocolate covered graham cracker which he promptly made a mess with.

It was so cute to see the two little boys together. Xavier wanted to do everything that his older cousin was doing. When Momo and I walked them to the park, instead of looking ahead in the stroller, Xavier just gazed at his older cousin on his tricycle the entire time.

Matthew was a big helper too. He enjoyed bringing diapers to My Susan (his moniker for me) when I changed the baby. He is also an amazing little mimic. You really have to watch your words when around a two-year-old.

Here's a photo of the boys enjoying some otter pops in the kitchen:

Easter went well here in Beaumont. Xavier wore his much-too-big-at-the-time "christening" outfit. He made all the ladies in church swoon with his coos and smiles during Easter morning mass. When it came time to renew our baptismal vows and get sprinkled with water, I realized that it was very fitting that Xavier was wearing his little outfit.

At home, Xavier enjoyed riffling through his Easter basket and goodies. Mom and Dad helped him eat his chocolate bunny and he chowed down on some peach puffs found inside his plastic eggs. With 50 days of Easter to celebrate, I fill an egg each morning with puffs and let him "find" it around the house to enjoy.

More Vacation Photos

I had high hopes of narrating the remainder of our family spring break to Corpus Christi but Holy Week and a quick trip to Lafayette have scuttled those plans. So in the interest of grandmas waiting with baited breath for more baby pics, I give you the following:

Thanks, Nancy!

Each Sunday, Tim and I enjoy eating brunch and watching This Week on ABC. It is a Sunday morning ritual that I have been doing since I was 11-years-old and the title of the program was This Week With David Brinkley.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi was interviewed about her views on the economy. If you click on the link and go about 45 seconds into the clip, you'll hear her say something to the effect of, "President Bush is finally coming around to recognize what any homemaker in this country could have told you several months ago."

Setting aside the debate of the state of the economy and what can or should be done about it, I want to point out how refreshing it was to hear the term "homemaker" being used in a positive and respectful tone--by one of the most powerful working women in the U.S. no less. We homemakers are typically a quiet bunch, tending to the cares and needs of our families and immediate communities. We don't practice microeconomics...we practice nanoeconomics.

For example, I can tell you without referring to reciepts or my price book that milk has increased from $3 to $4.25 per gallon in the past year. Bananas have gone from .29 to .49 per pound. Bread has gone up apporximately 25% as have eggs. These increases mean a few extra dollars go out of our grocery envelope each trip to the store. While that may not seem like a huge difference, just think about how loudly folks wail when gas prices go up .20 a gallon. Little increases on products that you use every day make a big dent in the family budget. If we are feeling the pinch, I can only imagine how tight things are getting for poor and working class families who have even less wiggle room in their finances.

So when politicians and lawmakers are debating about what to do (if anything) about the economy, I just simply ask that they take a step away from the big numbers (GDP, price of a barrel of oil, etc.) for a moment and tap into our country's nanoeconomic barometer: homemakers.

Goose Island State Park

Tim, Xavier and I got back home last night after a wonderful family vacation to Goose Island State Park just outside of Corpus Christi, TX. The location of our trip was determined fairly last minute (one day before departure). Originally we had thought about heading over to hill country to enjoy the bluebonnets in bloom. Unfortunately about half of Texas also had the same idea and all the camping grounds in that area were booked. After a search of places a few hours away where a burn ban was not in effect, Goose Island was the only park on the short list.

The drive down was nice and Xavier managed to get through it with only a few crying jags. He did however end up with a diaper rash despite frequent changes.

Goose Island is a hot spot for fishermen and birders. By the time we arrived, it was booked to capacity. A short walk around and you could see why. It was a beautifully maintained park and it was bursting with birds. There were pelicans by the bay as well as gulls, spoonbills and terns. In the woodlands area, where we camped, cardinals, warblers, verios and other songbirds reigned.

Xavier loved to crawl around on the grass or cruise along the picnic table. He waved at puppy dogs and their owners as they passed by our site and generally charmed most of the retirees. Toegether we mastered the new word, "yucky," which was our new cue for "take that out of your mouth or I will take it out for you." Our yucky list consisted of oak leaves, random sticks, and dirt. His favorite thing to do in the park was to ride on Dad's back in the carrier. After sufering the torture of Mom putting sunscreen all over his face and limbs and being forced to wear the dreaded sunhat, he'd sit back and relax as Dad walked up and down the park paths.

One of the joys of camping is that it has a way of slowing down and simplifying the day. Without the whir of television, telephones, internet or radios, Tim and I took a break from politics, New York sex scandals, and NCAA basketball. My watch stopped halfway through the trip and it was really no big deal. We get up with the birds and go to sleep with the sun. Making our breakfast and dinner each day provided most of the structure we had. Even Xavier seemed to nap more consistantly than he does at home.


Camping is the opposite of a luxury, full-service vacation. There is no room service, no spa, no bell hop. We had a short walk to the bathrooms and showers and took small grocery bags of our garbage to the dumpster several times a day to prevent being too popular with the squirrel and racoon population. But being that close to nature and that free from all the unnecessary things in life (including luxuries) bring with it a precious gift: peace.


Of course, we ventured out from the park too. I'll post about those outings later on. Back home our vacation has made me all the more grateful for the many blessings in our life. I am struck by how much larger and vast our home appears to me upon our return. As we transition out of vacation mode, little amenities that often go unappreciated like indoor plumbing and a soft mattress are exchanged for the serenity that only time spent in the woods can bring.

Busted!

Xavier has been practicing his gross motor skills lately. Translation: he crawls all over the house and gets into stuff. Fortunately our small home and its open floorplan allows me to keep tabs on him without always having to have him in my direct line of sight.

Yesterday I heard him crawl into the bathroom while I was emptying the dishwasher. He loves to open and close the cabinet doors in there. But this day, things were quieter than usual. When I peeked in to make sure all was well, this is what I found.

I gave him a gentle "No, no, Xavier." He smiled and removed his hand from the roll, and then promptly started pulling paper off the roll again. Ah the temptation of Charmin!

Cruisin'

Xavier is getting better and better at cruising these days. He loves to move along the side of the couch or coffee table and can easily pull himself up to look out the French doors in the back. He has also taken to pushing his plastic activity table across the room as a sort of makeshift walker. So when I was in Target the other day and saw a little riding car that converts into an upright walking toy, I figured Xavier would love it.

At first he loved the box it came in more than anything else. Silly baby. But once I put his little hands on the walker bar, we was crossing the room with amazing speed. When Mom or Dad isn't standing nearby to spot him, we keep the car in "ride on" mode to prevent accidents. As you can see, Xavier likes the riding experience just fine too.

Simplicity Challenge -- Part II

It's a bit overdue but I wanted to post a follow-up to Part I of my self-imposed Simplicity Challenge to try to waste less food. I found that meal planning and pantry organization were key to this effort. I just didn't keep a lot of spare, perishable food around the house.

In January, we made pretty good progress in this area.

• I made chicken and vegetable stock with scraps and leftovers
• Almost all other leftovers were reused or repurposed with the exception of some funky lemon wedges that got shoved to the back of the fridge
• As a last resort, non-meat foods were put into our compost pile

The last bullet leads to my current Simplicity Challenge: to significantly reduce the amount of waste we send to the local landfill. I was inspired by a New Zealand television show called Wa$ted. In it a family tries to reduce their ecofootprint by reducing the amount of wasted energy and unnecessary trash sent to landfills. In a dramatic flourish, they go through the family's garbage for the past week and sort out recyclables and compostables and identify other ways to reduce the amount of garbage. It is really inspiring to see that only about 1/10 of the garbage they send to the landfill is truly unusable garbage.

Since we already cloth diaper, that is one HUGE family trash factor that we eliminate from the landfills. My frugal penchant for buying in bulk and eschewing serving sizes means that we already have less packaging than we used to. We also have a compost pile which I have varying success with. But Beaumont discontinued its curbside recycling program in 2002 for lack of participation and interest.

I decided to see how difficult it would be to self-recycle. Lo and behold there are several recycling companies here. After a few calls I found one that takes paper, cardboard and #1 and #2 plastics, and another that accepts aluminum cans. Now both companies would actually pay me for my drop offs, but our trash volume is so low, it doesn't really make much sense to go through the process of weighing it in. I mean I might pick up a nickle off the ground but I'd feel silly standing in a line to pick up a nickle.

Fortunately, both companies also have "donation bins" where the proceeds from the collected items go to local United Way charities. Both companies are also locally owned and operated so the money they generate stays here in our community.

I'm still refining our collection area and find myself hunting through the kitchen garbage can to retrieve a pizza box or cat food can that got mistakenly thrown away. Every day is an Easter Egg hunt when you're trying to get a home recycling program started I suppose.

Babies for Obama

Xavier and I attended a precinct captain training session and local grassroots rally for Barack Obama.

The night before I created two t-shirts for us to wear. They were a big hit. Xavier enjoyed getting to meet so many new people. At first he cried a little whenever the crowd began to chant "Yes, We Can." I think he was a little scared. But by the end of the event he was smiling and waving along with the crowds.

It was so inspiring to be in a room of such a diverse crowd of people who were all coming together for a common cause. At one point during the training, we paired off to share personal stories of why we were supporting Obama's campaign. No two stories were alike but what seemed to be a throughline was that he was a face of a movement to cut through partisanship and devisive politics to bring a new era to American government.

Between the training session and the rally, Xavier and I left to go grab a bite to eat. When we came back, about half the folks in the room cooed and said, "Xavier's back!" It was as if he were Norm entering the Cheers bar. I have a feeling for the next three weeks, I'm going to be known as "Xavier's Mom" at campaign headquarters.

Even the local news crews weren't immune to Xavier's inherent charm. Check him out at the end of this clip: http://setxhomepage.com/media_player.php?media_id=5794 .

New Photos

No time to post...feeding baby. Here are some recent photos.

Mardi Gras in Beaumont with our neighbors.




A bath.
I'm still standin'!

Drama with Mama

Last week I took Xavier to his very first play: Miss Nelson Has a Field Day at the Lutcher Theatre in Orange. The 45-minute drive from Beaumont was well worth the experience. When we arrived there were about 500 little kids bussed in from all over southeast Texas and southwest Louisiana. Xavier was fascinated by their sheer numbers. I don't thing he realized that many kids existed in the entire world before that.

Thanks to a friendly Lutcher volunteer, I found a quiet room to nurse Xavier in before the show. While I'm not against nursing in public, I wasn't ready to become the science/civics lesson experiment for so many children all at once!

Once Xavier was well fed and ready to sit still we found our way to our seats. The powers that be put all of the non-school folks and homeschoolers together in the same section. Xavier and I had two seats although we both sat in one together. Having a little space turned out to be a good thing. The poor woman to my right kept getting smacked by Xavier whenever he got really excited. Xavier was waving his yellow lovey (known around here as Lovie Smith) during all the songs...second lining skills must be transmitted through the placenta!

What was fascinating to me was what types of things would capture Xavier's attention since he obviously couldn't follow the storyline. Lighting played a huge part in directing his attention to the stage. He had little interest in the straight dialogue but loved it when there were patterns such as a teacher asking three kids the same questions. His favorite by far were the dance numbers. Whenever I found myself getting bogged down in the plot, sure enough, Xavier's attention was beginning to wander. I think that every director should rent a baby to help identify the lagging parts of a show.

Baby Laughs

My stepmom calls these videos "internet Prozac" since they always seem to cheer her up. Please excuse my maniacal laughter at the end. I couldn't help it. Enjoy!

Diapers and Potties

Judging by the number of packages of disposable diapers I received prior to Xavier's birth, I don't think most people expected us to stick with our cloth diapering goal. Once we got the hang of it, cloth diapering has actually turned out to be quite simple, economical and easy.

There are countless numbers of types and brands of cloth diapers available thanks to the internet. Since ease and cost were two of our main goals, I decided to go with the simple powerhouse of the diapering world: prefolds and covers. As Xavier began sleeping for longer periods at night, we invested in six Bumgenius pocket diapers. These have a wicking microfleece next to the babe's bottom and a super absorbant microfiber insert. I double these with some autoshop microfiber towels I bought at Target. I made some cloth wipes from a spare piece of flannel fabric I had in my stash. All in all, we've spent approximately $250 for all our diapering supplies.

The thing people ask me the most often is about the work involved. If I didn't have a washer and dryer at home, there is no way I would have stuck with this. However, every two or three days I put the diapers and covers in the laundry for a soak and double rinse cycle. About an hour later I transfer them to the dryer. Then Xavier and I fold them and put them up on the changing table.

Lately we've been using fewer diapers. I bought Xavier a little Baby Bjorn potty as a way to get him used to the concept of the toilet and quite frankly, a way to keep him out of trouble when I go to the bathroom. I started putting him on his little potty whenever I go to the bathroom and when he wakes up in the morning or from a nap. Lo and behold he's quickly caught on and pees or poops about 50% of the time he is given the opportunity. He gets a kick out of flushing and
washing his hands afterwards.

I doubt that this will lead to full blown "potty training" anytime soon, but it is so adorable to see Xavier figuring things out.

Sew and So

I have been sewing since I was in high school. I'm pretty much self-taught from books. I found my mother's old Sears model in the closet one day and started fiddling around until I got the hang of it. In college I worked in the costume shop of the Theatre Department and even spent one summer stitching costumes for the theatre at Chautauqua, NY. The nice thing about working in costume shops is that you have the right work spaces and tools: cutting tables, steam irons, sergers, hem stitches, dye vats, etc.

Sewing was something I picked up and put down throughout my adult life. Because my Sears sewing machine was vintage, it only did a straight and zig zag stitch. I never mastered the skill of a buttonhole that didn't scream "home sewn!" that I simply didn't make items that required them.

This Christmas my in laws gave me a brand new Singer 9910. It has about 60 different stitches including a serger-like overedge stitch to make sewing knits, a blind hemstitch, and even the ability to embroider small monograms. It is also much quieter than my old Sears model, meaning I can sew in the next room while Xavier takes his morning nap.

I've so very much enjoyed being able to do 30-45 minutes of sewing each day that I choose to do so. I've managed to finish piecing together this quilt top that I started working on before I met my husband!

I've stitched some "babylegs" out of kneehigh socks for Xavier so he can just hang around in a onesie without getting cold or skinned knees.

I've also cut up and edgestitched a few old bath towels into kitchen rags in an ongoing effort to reduce the amount of paper towels we use around here.

Future projects include finishing up a dress sloper to have an accurate master pattern from which to draft new clothes. I purchased Pattern Master Boutique 2.2 in January 2004 and still haven't used it to make an item of clothing. Maybe I've watched one too many episodes of Project Runway, but I can't wait to make a new knit top and a custom fit pair of jeans.

Pull ups!

Xavier hit another milestone today--pulling up into a standing position. He's been "standing" with help for almost two months now but this was the first time I've seen him go from a crawling position into a propped up on feet position. About one minute after this photo was taken, he collapsed and burst into tears. After a little comforting by Mama, he was crawling back to the stool to do it again. What a brave little boy.

Simplicity Challenge: Part I

My Aunt Susan has generously passed along to me two books about spirituality and simplicity. One is Not Buying It by Judith Levine and the other is Nothing Left Over by Toinette Lippe. Both started out strong and I found them inspiring. However, about one third of the way through I began to find the authors' self-congratulatory tones insufferable. Maybe it is a hazard of becoming simple. Please let me know if I start to become insufferable too.



Anyway, one thing that I would like to do in 2008 is focus on one area of simplicity each month. For January, we are working on focusing on being good stewards of the food we bring into the house. Not only are we trying to avoid dietary no-nos like high fructose corn syrup, prepackaged foods, and bleached flour goods but we are also working on actually using up the food that we buy.



Like most American families, we tend to waste a good deal of the food that comes into our home. Sometimes produce that looked so tempting in the grocery store spoils while neglected in the refrigerator. Other times, we just put too much on our plates at mealtimes. I'm also guilty of passing over leftovers in favor of a newly made dish.



When I think of the fact that much of the world struggles to get the nutritious food that we toss in the waste bin, I am quite frankly embarrassed. But I really want to use this as an exercise to develop more gratitude for the abundance we've been blessed with.



So this month the goals are simple:

• Make as much use of each food item as possible. This includes using vegetable trimmings to make vegetable stock or saving them for the compost pile. Cracker and bread crumbs come free at the bottom of the bag.
  


• Use up left overs. Lunches are a great way to use up left overs. So are soups. And casseroles.
  


• Start with small portions. While we aren't really trying to lose weight here, we do find that we don't always eat as much this way and we certainly scrape less off our plates into the garbage after a meal.

I'll post a report of how we did at the end of the month. Anyone want to join in?

Christmas--Part II

Okay, another photo dump from the Christmas files. A McNicholl family tradition is to go for a long hike on Christmas Day. This year we went up to the National Preserve. We saw lots of birds but no wild boars. Enjoy!

Pre-hike photo:

Dad and Xavier check each other out via the backpack hand mirror:

Hunter registers us at the trailhead:

And we're off!:

And later, all cleaned up and in our Christmas clothes:

Christmas--Part I

Okay, with all the action going on around here, I've not been able to keep up with the blog. We've been too busy living our lives to document it. Apologies to all! I promise to try to catch up by next week. In the meanwhile, I'm going to post a few photos:




Hunter's homemade Saint's sign. Unfortuately her fantastic creativity didn't secure the win for the boys in black and gold. We are sad that playoffs are no longer a possibility. There's always next year.

Dad puts the angel atop the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. We all took turns putting on ornaments and bows. Hunter and I drank tons of eggnog and sang Christmas songs.

The Holy Family continued to mysteriously travel around the house and "arrived" at the nativity stable Christmas Day. When Tim, Susan and Hunter each denied moving any of the figurines, Hunter decided to fingerprint us and see if there were any matching prints on them. Result: no fingerprints at all! Determination: the spirit of Christmas must be responsible!

We're in the Army now!

Well, Army crawling at least!

Bad Mama!

Xavier is right on the cusp of learning to crawl these days. He does a lot of rolling and scootching around on the carpet. Most of the time instead of pushing forward with his legs, he just keeps pushing himself backwards with his arms. He always seems a little perplexed that he is getting further from the object of his desire the more effort he puts towards getting closer to it. But the sweet disposition of this little boy can overcome all. I give you exhibit A:

Now I don't know which is more adorable: the fact that he has yet again found himself wedged under furniture or the fact that he managed to wait patiently while his laughing mama took a picture of the event for all posterity.

St. Nicholas Day

Tim and I have always given a lot of thought to the type of Christmas we would like to celebrate as a family. We don't want to let the Christmas merchandising machine take over what for us is a very special and spiritual time of year. Too many gifts, too much emphasis on Santa, too many things that you have to do. Here are some of the traditions we have thus far:


1. Observe Advent. Prior to Christmas Eve, we pretty much banish all things Christmas from our home and play up advent. We usually do a weekly prayer and scripture reading as a family as we light advent candles. The readings are a wonderful way to set up the anticipation of the birth of our Lord. There is a lot of references to light coming into the darkness and it just fits with the shorter days this time of year.





This year I also put up a wreath on our door. For the first two weeks of advent we have a purple bow, the third week we have pink, and then back to that last week of purple before Christmas.

For fun, during the last week or so, we set up the nativity scene in the living room (this year on the mantle). At first we just set up the barn and animals. Mary and Joseph "travel" around the house on that last week from room to room as they make their way to Bethleham. We have a lot of fun surprising each other with them in silly places. Mary and Joseph in the pantry. Mary and Joseph running off with the remote control. etc. On Christmas Eve they arrive at the barn.


2. Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas

Then on Christmas Eve, we decorate the tree and go to Mass. Mary and Joseph are in the nativity at that point. Christmas morning the baby Jesus appears as do the shepards and angels. After opening gifts, we go for a hike in the national park near our house. We continue to celebrate Christmas with food and Christmas decorations until Epiphany (Jan. 6). Oh, and after Christmas Day the three wise men statues start making their way across the house too.


At Epiphany the wise men make it to the nativity scene, we clean up the holiday decorations and celebrate with a King Cake.


3. St. Nicholas Replaces Santa Claus


This is our first year with kids in the house at Christmastime. In lieu of Santa we have decided to observe St. Nicholas Feast Day. So last night Xavier put his little shoe out for St. Nick to fill with a toy or goodie. St. Nicholas also left a letter complimenting him and his behaviour and giving a little hint as to what to keep working on (this will obviously become more relavent as he gets older).

As for Christmas gifts, we intend to keep it to three per kid...that's how many presents Jesus got. As a guide for the types of gifts, we've used the old Yankee poem:

Something you want,
Something you need,
Something to wear,
And something to read.


with a few modifications to get the number from four to three it has become:


Something you want,
Something you need,
Like something to wear,
And something to read.


Of course the kids will still get plenty of gifts from extended family and that is great. Our aim isn't to eliminate gifts altogether but to keep the primary focus on the meaning of the holidays. The best memories I have of Christmastime are of the small things we did together like making Chex mix with my mother, sneaking off to see the Pontchatoula aligator with my sisters, and bringing presents to other families.

Squash!

Xavier is just getting over a nasty cold that he's had for four days. We celebrated his soon-to-be recovery with a healthy lunch of homemade butternut and acorn squash. Xavier decided that feeding himself is much more fun than waiting around for Mom. Mom was just glad not to spend yet another lunch hour playing Spoon Wrestling Smackdown.

God is trying to tell you somethin'

I haven't posted in a while. Tim was away in Africa at a conference for a week and Xavier and I decided to head over to Mandeville to visit with friends and family while he was away. After a week apart, it was so wonderful to see each other again and compare stories from our trips. However, the biggest surprise when I came home was this:

A little back story may be in order. Ever since we moved into our home in February 2006, our neighbor behind us has been doing home renovations. Half of our back fence is the back half of his side fence--our lots are perpendicular to one another. Both of our back fences square up to the massive drainage area behind our homes. The local drainage district folks keeps this area nice and mowed and it is a wonderful place for birds and wildlife.

Soon after beginning renovations, said neighbor started pitching junk over his back fence. At first it was relatively small stuff like chunks of jackhammered concrete. Then it got to be bigger pieces of wood. In the fall of last year, he drove across the right of way that is usually our front lawn to put a trailer behind his back fence. The pile grew and grew to about six feet tall. Unfortunately so did the sticker bushes and weeds since the public works folks could no longer mow around it.

I cannot overstate how much I let this situation drive me crazy. If I was having a difficult day, all I had to do was look at the backyard and I'd be off the races in frustration and indignation. How dare they be so selfish and self-centered! The two dozen or so other houses that had views of the drainage area only had to look at the mess, I had to suffer the mice and thorns creeping over and under our fence! I'm ashamed to admit that I had daydreams of throwing all the junk back over their fence in the middle of the night or hauling the trailer of junk to their front yard or worse.

Sometimes I got spiritual about it. When a mentor advised that I pray for God's will about the situation, I prayed for good things to happen to my neighbor. I prayed that he would win the lottery, want to sell his house and buy a bigger one, and he moved the junk to get top dollar. Not exactly a selfless prayer there, Susan. I also worked on accepting the fact that since he wasn't dumping on MY property, I really couldn't tell him what to do. I kept praying for grace to get past my anger and for a solution to present itself that didn't involve me turning into a vindictive Mrs. Kravitz.

Finally in September, after a hurricane blew through and rattled the junk heap a little too much for my comfort and the water didn't drain properly from our yard due to the weeds, I decided to call the drainage people. I mentioned that there was "some debris" that seemed to be preventing them from mowing part of their property and it was causing some drainage and vermin issues for me. They said they would clear it within 30-45 days. I marked my calendar for the follow-up call and turned it over (finally!) to God.

I also decided to "clean up my side of the street" by chopping down all the creeping jasmine that had come from my yard and was spilling over the back fence onto the trailer--making it an even bigger mess. I kept hacking and hacking at it until I realized there was something beneath the vine. When I cleared it entirely I discovered a beautiful four-foot-tall wrought iron cross underneath. At least everytime I looked in my back yard now, when I saw the cross, I had a physical reminder to offer up my suffering and desire to control this situation to God.

Well, wouldn't you know the drainage people did clear it after all? Of course, by clear I mean that somehow said trailer and trash is all in my neighbor's back yard again now. I am curious as to how all this went down (were fines involved? did he not have permission to drive it back through the right of way? did they just move it to the guy's yard?) but really that is none of my business.

In retrospect, I can't believe I let this make me so crazy for so long. I think if I had been less emotional from the beginning about all of this, I would have stumbled across the solution a lot sooner.

Happy Halloween!

I spend most of yesterday evening revamping Xavier's Halloween costume. It was supposed to be a peanut. I bought a giraffe print fabric thinking it would be sufficiently peanut-like. I made a cute little sleep sack like shape but it wasn't peanutty enough in shape. It did, however, look like a costume and not just a clothing item. I thought about making a tag that said "Found a peanut!" but thought that a costume that needs an explanation was pathetic. So after much eyerolling and sighing, I decided to make a little hat with ears and horns and make him a giraffe. Happy Halloween.

Photos!

More active baby these days means less time to type. Here's some photos from Xavier's first camping trip to Village Creek State Park. He LOVED it!

Food, glorious food!

Xavier has started dabbling with solid foods. At first he was more interested in the bib. But the mesh feeder has proven to be a great way for him to get started with a meal while Mommy and Daddy are still eating. We usually finish up with a few purees. Big hits: bananas and pears. Big misses: peas.

Well isn't that a kick in the head?!

Last Friday I made my very first panicked phone call to my pediatrician's office. It all started when I decided to dress up a bit to bring Xavier down to campus to visit with Dad at lunchtime. Instead of my very practical black mary jane flats I put on my styling brown mary janes with the three inch stacked heels. I like to make sure I'm one notch above student when it comes to heading down to campus.

Anyway, Dad had to cancel on us at the last minute and we came back home. Xavier was hanging out on a blanket on the floor in the living room and I was sitting on the floor eating a ham sandwich. Having finished my sandwich, I decided to help Xavier practice sitting up. As I swung my leg up and over the babe to straddle him, he lifted up on his arms, and I struck him squarely on the head with that blasted stacked heel.

The crying was heartbreaking. He had a scratch made visible by his cradle cap that went from the side of his head and across his front soft spot. A bit of nursing managed to calm little Xavier and I tilted him from side to side to make sure his eyes were dilating equally.

I was fairly certain that everything was okay but decided to call the pediatrician's nurse anyway. I was worried about the soft spot and I didn't want to head into the weekend without getting a little reassurance. As I waited to speak to the nurse, I was debating whether "I kicked him in the head" or "I hit him in the head with my shoe" were less likely to get me reported to child protective services.

The nurse was very understanding. After confirming twice that Xavier didn't FALL, she told me to watch his eating and sleeping habits and take him to the ER if anything changed significantly for the worse.

Needless to say, it is Monday now and Xavier was fine all weekend. Of course this afternoon he decided to headbutt me in the teeth while I was laughing. Yet another scrape in the cradle cap. No crying this time though.

Growing like a weed...

I can't believe how quickly Xavier is growing these days -- both physically and mentally. For the second time in three weeks, I've had to dip into the stash of presents-in-waiting and hand-me-downs from cousin Matthew to size up. Xavier is wearing 6-12 months depending on the make of the clothing. He's still small in girth but getting longer and longer. And of course, his cloth diapers tend to make his bottom larger than most.

As for cognitive leaps, there are two that stand out. When Tim came home from work on Saturday morning, Xavier was sitting on my lap while I checked my e-mail. The minute he saw his daddy, he lifted both arms up towards him in hopes of being picked up. It was a first! I must admit that I was a little jealous. Tim says that Xavier is much more likely to laugh at my antics though.

Xavier is also beginning to figure out this new Baby Einstein crib toy that Grandmother McNicholl sent to replace the moose mobile. If you touch the mirror it plays a cycle of classical music. Last night I woke up around 3 a.m. to the strangest sound coming out of the baby monitor. At first I just thought that I'd listened to the music clips so many times that they were echoing in my head. But I got up to check things out. Xavier was wide awake in his crib looking at himself in the mirror. As soon as the music stopped, he kicked the mirror to start it up again. It was like a reverse snooze alarm. I watched him do this three times and even considered sneaking back in with the video camera to prove to myself and the rest of the world that I wasn't dreaming this.

Since Xavier wasn't crying, I just left him to his fun and went back to bed. About an hour later he started fussing, ready for his middle-of-the-night feeding. Now, I can't wait until he's able to make it through the night without ANY feedings but for a kid who sleeps an average of 11.5 hours a night, that's a pretty tall order.

Whatcha doing?

Twice in the past week, the subject of how I describe my current employment has come up. One friend asked if I considered the term "housewife" offensive. Another person asked how the transition to "stay at home mom" (or SAHM for short) is going after the wild world of PR and publishing. Then of course there is the never ending stream of, "So, what do you do?" that happens when I meet people.



Lady of the house. Homemaker. Domestic engineer. Housewife. SAHM. SAHP (the gender neutral version). They all mean basically the same thing. A (usually) woman whose primary role in the family is devoted to keeping the household running smoothly and childcare. The various progression of monikers as a result of each generation's attempt to be more respectable then the last seems to me to indicate the overall lack of status this employment has in our society.



Doctors and laywers have always been doctors and lawyers. But secretaries became administrative assistants and then executive assistants and then office managers. Aides became nursing aides and then nursing assistants. Janitors became custodians and maids became housekeepers then house cleaners.



As a student of public relations, I can confirm that often a good name change actually does result in a newfound respect for less glamourous positions. Unfortunately it is all too often accompanied by an eye roll and accusations of political correctness on one side and easily offended sensibilities on the other. Within ten years or so, you need a new name change just to keep up with the cynicism. In the end you have job title inflation rather than any long term respect increase.



For the record I call myself a homemaker when describing what I do now. I do more than just kid care and the phrase SAHM just feels like a false dichotomy with work outside the home moms (WOHM) and fans the flames of the so-called mommy wars. But really, I'm not that sensitive. You can call me what you want...just say it with respect.