An Open Letter to Sen. Joni Ernst

Dear Senator Ernst,

I am writing to ask your support for having the Senate hold deliberate, open hearings from experts in health care prior to any further legislation repealing, replacing, or revising the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). I am gravely concerned that political and fiscal interests are taking precedence over health and moral outcomes. In particular, I think there is a particular issue regarding pro-life goals--a position you and I both share.

In the mid-’90s in Atlanta, I was briefly on individual plan insurance. I was in my 20’s and a perfectly healthy woman. Kaiser Permenente was the best insurance available to me. The monthly premiums for healthy individuals my age were (to the best of my recollection) $30 for men, $90 for women, and $130 for women who wanted maternity coverage. There was also no contraception coverage in these plans. The contraceptive pill cost $39 a month. Abortions at the time in the local clinic cost $450 in cash. To give you some perspective, my rent at the time was $450 a month, and I lived in a very impoverished part of town in an efficiency apartment.

At the time, I wasn’t planning on needing contraception, but as a sexual assault survivor, I knew that even a commitment to chastity didn’t necessarily mean a single girl couldn’t get pregnant. I marveled how the insurance system that I was participating in actually had a financial incentive for women to have abortions rather than either preventing pregnancy with contraception or covering maternity care for all women. A healthy pregnancy and delivery could cost $10,000 in out-of-pocket care without a maternity rider, a maternity rider cost $480 per year, the contraceptive pill was $468 per year, and the abortion was $450.

We cannot go back to the Wild West days of health insurance, which is what will happen with a repeal of ACA without an intelligent alternative. Letting ACA “fail” as our President advocates, would be even more disastrous. The free market will not necessarily support moral, pro-life values.

I am sympathetic to those who chafe at the idea that Planned Parenthood receives medical reimbursements for non-abortion procedures, when they are the biggest provider and lobbyist for unfettered access to abortion. I would love for Planned Parenthood to go out of business--preferably because abortion is no longer desired by any woman. But I can’t ignore that for many women in rural or low-income situations, Planned Parenthood is their only access to low-cost or no-cost family planning and annual pelvic exams. It is unfortunate that we have let our public health clinics die on the vine from lack of financial support thus enabling Planned Parenthood to fill in the void.

I hope you will consider the lives of the most vulnerable--the unborn--as you proceed to work with your colleagues on health care legislation. Health care is nuanced and complicated. It reaches into our lives in subtle and significant ways. It deserves our best efforts to investigate and address all the angles, not just the fiscal ones.

I was a blogger once...

Twelve years ago, when I was newly married, newly unemployed, and newly Texan, I set out to be a blogger. I had big dreams. I would write about spirituality and simplicity. We were Catholic and broke so it seemed like a good fit. When the kids came along, I morphed into a wannabe Mommy blogger. Then my kids got older--I increasingly felt that telling their stories was an invasion of privacy. Then my husband got a raise--I increasingly felt like I was losing my simplicity credibility. Then we moved to Iowa and I realized in the light of the midwestern sun, what I took for frugal simplicity might just have been how most people outside of Texas live. I stopped blogging.

My blog button on my toolbar beckoned me from time to time, but I never really jumped back in. Once the kiddos started school, I tried dusting off my old marketing skills to help promote their small Catholic school. Along the way, I made an interesting discovery. There’s always a need for stories, for writers. Each teacher had an interesting history. Every work of art produced by my kid begged to have the mini-biography of the inspiring artist to be told. So I founded and started submitting things to the school’s blog.

Then I got sucked into serving on the Catholic School Board. After nearly a decade out of the paid workforce it was a heady rush to be taken seriously again by fellow adults making very. Important. Decisions. I loved being an advocate for Catholic education. I was good at it. If I’m honest, I also loved having an influence beyond my family circle in a way that was visible and appreciated. I stopped telling stories. I thought that was so easy that anyone could do it. The blog sputtered out.

This past May, after much discernment, I stepped off of the Catholic School Board for both personal and spiritual reasons. Almost immediately, I was asked to give a presentation to the parish staff about improving communication. That turned into an invitation to lead the initiative to redesign and rethink the role of the parish bulletin in our parish. The office staff was capable of the graphic redesign. The parish staff leadership was willing to try a new tactic and provide information. Guess what gaping hole in the project soon became apparent? Dedicated storytellers--writers who knew how to get the job done.

So here I am back where I started 12 years ago. I’m at a crossroads personally and professionally. The call of the keyboard beckons me. It calls me to write about spirituality and simplicity. It calls me to document the stories of fellow disciples. It calls. It calls.

Simplicity Fail: Or When Planning Turns Into Covetousness

It all started with my renewed interest in taking homemaking seriously. During prayer time last week, I came to realize that I haven't been taking my job as a homemaker seriously. Nothing too terrible was happening, but dishes in the sink, dusty floors, and stacks of stuff randomly situated around the house became commonplace. One place of neglect were the windows in our family room/ kitchen open concept space. When we moved in there were green and purple walls. We got used to them. There were green laminate countertops. We got used to them. The previous owners took the curtains but left the rods. We got used to it. The cabinets were an odd sort of pickled cream while the appliances were white. I NEVER got used to them.  When our television broke and we bought a new one, our old coffee table became the new tv stand. Instead of replacing the dysfunctional overhead microwave we just put another one on the countertop.

Basically our most used room in the house was slowly sliding into ugliness. At first I looked at inexpensive ways to fix things--on the cheap. First up, build and paint an easy corner tv stand so we could reclaim our coffee table.

The prospect of a painted tv stand led me to wanting to paint our cabinets. I found a few tutorials and well, I was off to the races. That led me to pintrest, HGTV.com, and Houzz. My to-do list grew and grew:

• replace the microwave and dishwasher
• paint the cabinets white
• replace the laminate counters with wood--put together by me with my Kreg jig
• replace the non-functioning pendant lights with ones that shed more light
• repaint the dingy refrigerator
• replace the white knobs and pulls with brushed nickel ones
• sew purple and white curtains
• add a roller shade to the back door to cut the heat in summer
• build and paint a corner tv stand
• sew white canvas slipcovers for the sofa
• buy slipper or arm chairs so there is more seating around the tv
• build a few end tables
• buy a sisal or other neutral colored rug
• replace the black mats at the doors

Hours and hours later I had an an entire pintrest board devoted to all the new things I wanted to do to improve this space.

Then, I made the mistake of asking my husband his opinion. He loves the cabinets and even the awful green countertops. So I did what any grown woman would do in this situation: I pouted. I was stuck with an awful family open concept room! After a few hours of pouting I realized that I had fallen into that oh-so-attractive consumerist trap again. In my effort to beautify and make our space more useful, I had assumed that I had to buy and change stuff to make me happy. My happiness depended upon me getting to do what I wanted and (more importantly) buy what I wanted.

My online information gathering had morphed into online covetousness. So I've decided to take a break, clean my kitchen, put away the piles, and try to focus on one bit at a time. For now, keep things tidy and neat. I think I need to step away from the pintrest, and focus on the work rather than the dreaming for a while.

My So-Called Spirt-Filled, Simple Life

It's been months since I've blogged. It's been years since I've blogged regularly. I was about take this blog down entirely (who reads blogs these days?) when I was struck by the tagline of Crouching Camel: a meditation of a spirit-filled, simple life. Things have changed immensely for our family in the past two years. My husband got a better job that resulted in a move to Iowa. We were able to pay off all our debts, including our home and car. Because the educational choices here are so much better than what we had in Texas, we decided to send our sons to the awesome local Catholic school for elementary and then to public school beyond that. Our new house has about 500 more square feet than our old starter home. We have cable for goodness' sake!

There was a little simplifying: we are now a one-car family. I try to bike and walk more often. This year I vowed to only sew my own clothes when possible (have spent about $300 so far this year). But gone are the days of the avid price-booking and coupon clipping. We shop locally and spend money getting veggies from a CSA. In short, while we still live much less large than your average American family, our life is much less modest and simple than it used to be.

The spirit-filled part has taken a hit too. While we pray as a family at meals, attend Mass each Sunday, and pray at night with the boys, I've been remiss in keeping up my own personal prayer life. It usually consists of me listening to a bible study podcast while wiping down counters in the morning.

Not-surprisingly, with the loss of my mission as a homeschooling mother, the slackening of my spiritual life, and the mindless increases in spending, I find myself in a state of constant searching in my life. I've pondered going back to graduate school. I've thought about getting a job in marketing. I've wondered how it all slipped away from me so quickly. I feel like I'm flailing.

So, once again I think it is time to reassess. I am at the crossroads and I need to make a decision. Will I double down on simplicity and recommit to a less consumerist lifestyle that requires so much of my time and energy? Will I pursue a higher status along with a PhD although it has marginal financial returns? Will I try to make freelancing work again for me or is the prospect of that much "alone" time too daunting? I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that I need to start by taking all of this into prayer. I crave God's guiding hand in all of this. I know that the longing for peace and comfort that I feel right now can only be satisfied with Him. Consumer conveniences and social status are just poor substitutes.

So, dear imaginary readers, I invite you to take this journey with me. Join me on my search, once again, on how to build a spirit-filled, simple life.

The Price of Cheap Clothing

I still haven't bought a piece of clothing this year but with swimsuit season just around the corner, I sure am tempted. I've been working on a home decor sewing project but need to make room in my sewing room for a few pjs and practice on swimwear. Just when I felt like I was losing my resolve, I came across this piece: Are Kids Making Your Clothes? Okay, that will get me through temptation for another month, I think

Cold Weather and Hot Irons

Just thought I'd follow up on my Stuff I Want Post with the good news that the sewing fairy godmother, otherwise known as my mother-in-law, sent me a brand new steam iron for my birthday. She understands that delicate paradox that to give someone a small appliance may is weird and giving a fellow sewist a steam iron is perfectly normal.

And now that I have a new bike in the garage, Mother Nature is thumbing her nose at me. It is bright, sunshiny, and 20 degrees outside today. Gorgeous but too cold to ride. Sigh. Universal Bike Truth #16 strikes again.

The Bike Has Arrived!

Picked up the Mundo today. It is HUGE. When I walked into the shop, I was actually a little afraid of it. It reminded me of the first time I drove a big, big truck--it seemed that I ought to need a special license to drive it.

First things first, I bought a massive lock for my Mundo. I don't want this baby to slip away anytime soon. I'm sure I'll be spiffing it up soon enough--rearview mirror and panniers perhaps?

Once I was brave enough to hop on board I found it surprisingly easy to maneuver. I had to quickly figure out how to shift properly; it has been nearly 20 years since I've been on a proper bike if you don't count indoor spin class...and I don't.

When I got home, the boys were thrilled to take it for a ride. It is a little harder to maneuver with the kids on board but I think I'll get used to it with practice. The hardest part is getting going from a full stop and putting down the kickstand while on the bike. The first will surely get easier as I get a little more muscle development in my legs. If I can't figure the second out, I'll surely need to develop my arms to be able to hold the bike up while dismounting while kids are on board.

The best part is how much fun it is to ride this thing. It has been in my possession for three hours and we've been on two bike rides so far. Wheee!