A Prejudicial Confession

Yesterday the kids and I went down to the public health department to get the first round of H1N1 vaccines for the boys. Last year we got the standard flu vax at the pediatrician's office but were informed that while they recommended the H1N1 vaccine they had decided NOT to administer it in their office. Given the absolute crush of kids and paperwork nightmare of flu vax this year compared to last year, I could hardly blame them.

This town is swimming in H1N1 vaccine--for older children and adults. The only place to get an H1N1 vaccine for those 9 years old and under was the public health clinic in the WIC building. So I just didn't get it. I feared a long wait in the crowded waiting rooms full of sick poor people like the ones we saw each day at Texas Children's Hospital ER when Jack was in the hospital after his birth. I worried about our safety driving to the part of Beaumont where the clinic was, would our car be safe? Most of all I just didn't want to be among the poor. I'm not proud of these thoughts, mind you, I'm just being honest.

But last week HHS Secretary Sebelieus made the case on Morning Joe that a third round of swine flu would probably hit this spring and be more intense than the past two waves this year. So I called 311, got what information I could which was not much and made plans to head down to the clinic--sans appointment and with no guarantee that there would be vaccine there when we arrived.

Well that drive down Washington Avenue was eye opening and I was filled with conflicting emotions. It is so easy to forget how much poverty there is here in Beaumont. This wasn't squalor but the working poor, there were lots of small mom-and-pop business along the street with rusty awnings and patched roofs still left from Rita I imagine. I saw the liquor store with the "We Cash Paychecks" sign in the window knowing that it was owned by one of Beaumont's most renowned and generous philanthropists. I saw several offices for the landscaping companies that often work in our neighborhood on the West End. I've often complained that there are no good ethnic restaurants here in Beaumont--you have to go to Houston for that. Imagine my surprise at several small plate lunch restaurants and ethnic grocery stores.

When we got to the Public Health building, the parking lot was spacious and lined by gorgeous oak trees. Inside the buildings were clean and simple. There were no magazines in the waiting area but the walls were lined with nice posters. There was only one other family there when we arrived. After a simple check in and a relatively short wait, a kind nurse gave Xavier and Jack their shots and me instructions to bring them back for round two in a month. All in all the experience in the clinic was the same or BETTER than that at the pediatrician's. Shorter wait, streamlined paperwork, and plain band-aids instead of ones with characters on them.

On the drive home I had to admit to myself that my prejudice alone had kept me from getting the boys these shots sooner. I've been thinking a lot lately about the poor and poverty. That's what happens when you read a book entitled Happy Are You Poor I suppose.

I think a few years ago I probably would have said that I have most of the things I need and some of the things I want. This days I say I have everything I need and most of what I want. This trip however made me suspect that I have more than I need. I don't know what to do with that thought.

Why Haiti, Why Now?

I've been pondering an economic question posed by a dear friend of mine lately. She wondered with all the major economic troubles the US is facing right now that have the propensity to affect the lives of future generations of Americans, should we really be spending so many Federal dollars on Haiti relief right now--in a nutshell can we afford it.

I think it is important to mention that this friend ranks among one of the most compassionate loving people I know. For her this is a sincere question, not a political parlor game. And I share her concern about the structural deficit this country faces right now.

[For a great non-partisan and recent discussion about the deficit, see this NPR interview with former GAO chief David Walker about his new book Comeback America: Turning the Deficit Around and Restoring Fiscal Responsibility]

At first pass I could only speak from my heart: Haiti is suffering. Jesus said to care for the poor but also that the poor would be with us always. I know that I am called to help not to cure--for there is no human cure to all material suffering. But there is a spiritual realm that can be served on both sides with charitable works. To paraphrase Xavier's godfather, I am my most liberal when I am being a mother.

But the intellectual in me knows that this is an argument for an idividual or at most a corporation or community. It calls me to action. Despite the many voices otherwise, this is NOT a Christian country. It is influenced culturally and intellectually by Christian tradition but at its core it is a secular nation. I cannot honestly say that the national government is always called to the same level of virtue that a Christian individual is. But at the same time I'm too blinded by my own emotion to be comfortable with the ramifications of this.

In mulling over this conundrum with my husband over dinner he (ever the pragmatist) pointed out some very sound practical considerations to justify a large government expenditure on Haiti relief efforts.

1. Haiti is our close geographic neighbor. If they fall into complete chaos we will have a huge influx of folks floating over on innertubes and whatnot clogging our social services, prisons, tying up our Coast Guard, etc. It is in our interest to keep Haiti livable.
   
2. The amount we will spend in Haiti is miniscule compared to the deficit issue.
   
3. We would be publicly shamed on the world stage to ignore Haiti--China and Israel in particular have made huge and swift physical and monetary contributions to relief. This would hamper our future negotiating position with many countries on other issues particularly given our proximity and relative wealth.
   
4. Should Haiti fall in the hands of chaos it will become a safe haven a la Afghanistan for terrorists--only this one would be withing boating distance of our ports.
   
5. When we give aid to Haiti, we don't just write a check. It boosts commerce here at home. They need to buy tractors, communications equipment, food, etc. There is a financial kickback effect to our aid.
   
6. Finally, part of our greatness in the world community IS our historical committment to humanitarian efforts, for fighting for just causes. To lose that now would be pennywise and pound foolish.
   

Now, I don't claim that these arguments are irrefutable (I'm sure Rush Limbaugh would have some choice words for me) but they do seem a bit more palatable than my "because Jesus said so" to the general American public. Of course in all of this it is worth recognizing the huge amount of personal and corporate donations that have been flowing into Haiti relief as well.

In the end, I think I am back where I started. I still feel too emotionally bound up to make a purely intellectual case for federal aid. Today are the days that I'm happy to be just a mother and homemaker and not a politician.

Photo Dump

Two Birthday Parties!

Jack got two birthday parties this year--neither was on his actual birthday, poor dear. The first was a shared party with MaMere and MoMo. Jack got his first taste of cake. If you look carefully you'll see that Jack is wearing a sweatshirt from my alma mater that my mom bought about 15 years ago. With all the chaos with the moves following Katrina, she couldn't find it in time for Xavier to wear it but it fits Jack to a tee.

Jack's second party was with the neighborhood kids. It was originally planned as a park party but the cold weather kept us inside. I put away the sidewalk chalk and bubbles and pulled out the riding toys that Jack and Xavier received from Grandma and Grandpa McNicholl. Those plus blocks served as ample entertainment. My dear friend Brooke supplied the most adorable sandwiches in various boy-friendly shapes. Jack got a second helping of cake--cupcakes this time.

Small Things: St. Nicholas Day

Santa goes by St. Nicholas around here. He visits on the eve of his feast day and likes to check in on everyone's Advent preparations. He loves kids and if there are kids in the house, he may leave them a few gold coins and a small toy. The boys left a pair of their tiny shoes by the fireplace along with a colored portrait of St. Nick and a carrot for his donkey. They were thrilled to find chocolate coins and a little car in their shoes.

Advent 2009

This is the first in a set of waaaaay overdue posts!

I'm happy to say that we increased our Advent activities this year. In addition to putting out an Advent wreath, we actually used it this year.

We observed Advent after dinner and clean up but before bathtime. We started by singing O, Come Emmanuel, lighting the candles, and then did a short reading and meditation from the Advent bulliten for kids that we got from St. Jude's. After that, Xavier opened the appropriate door on this gorgeous Advent calendar that MaMere and MoMo found in Lafayette. I envy their access to Catholic bookstores there!

We ended with a short prayer and Xavier helping to put the candles out with the snuffer. While there was a bit of wiggling the first few nights, by the end of Advent all we needed to do was dim the lights and say "Advent" and boys came running to the dining room table to begin. I think at this age, the candles are the biggest draw.

I also spiffed up the house a bit for Advent including a purple drape over the fireplace and a new chasable and stole for Father Pine. For a more tactile experience, Xavier and Jack could play with this cute nativity magnet set. I opted not to put out the ceramic set this year as it was difficult enough to keep the wreath and calendar from being mangled and I had run out of high spaces.